Finding Values as a Teen

Imagine that you’ve pulled up to your teenage years as the driver of a (metaphorical) car. There are other cars on the road, but they’re going in all sorts of directions – some are even off-roading. Ultimately, you’re not sure which direction you’re supposed to be going, and you have no idea where your destination is. 

In the backseat of your car sit some beliefs and values that you’ve picked up during your childhood. They’re fighting with each other as they try to give you directions, and you don’t know which ones to listen to. Not all of them are helpful anymore. This is new terrain.

You’re feeling lost when one of your values from the backseat -Wisdom- shouts over the other voices, “You have a GPS!”

“What good is a GPS if I don’t have a destination to enter?” you ask. 

“Look at the road names! They’ll tell you where to go.”

You notice the roads are named after values. Some roads are very appealing to you, like Friendship Avenue, Music Parkway, and Bravery Boulevard. You also spot roads that don’t interest you at all – they lead to dead ends. There are hundreds of roads (or values) to choose from. 

While you still don’t know where you’re going, you ask yourself, “What do I want this road trip to be about?” You start to map out a route based on the road names that represent things that are important to you. As you zoom in on your route, you notice the pit stops along the way are all places you want to visit. You start to worry less about your final destination, and feel good about the direction you’ve chosen to go. Soon, you catch yourself enjoying the ride. 

Our values are powerful guides and motivators for actions that point us in the right direction, even if we haven’t figured out our destination yet. Our values can tell us:

• How we want to spend our time
  • Doing what? With who?
• What we want our relationships to look like
• What kind of person we hope to be
• What we want to stand for
• How we want to act
• How we hope to impact others and our world
• If our goals make sense for us (or are we letting someone else drive our car!)

Getting to know your values is an important part of getting to know yourself. 

If you are feeling lost, identifying your values can help you find direction. Knowing that you are going in the right direction invites self-confidence, commitment, and peace of mind. Through identifying your values, you can: find settings in which your values can be put into practice; align your daily actions with your values; and develop value consistent goals that make sense for you and your life. 

By finding our values, we can find ourselves.