So we are all hearing about it, and now our daily lives are impacted. In Ontario, and many other places in Canada, schools are closed and kids are wondering what is going on. For the past week or so I have been hearing about the Coronavirus from the kids I see in my counselling practice. From what I am hearing – kids are scared and very confused. They are hearing wild stories from other kids, worrying about themselves and their family members dying, and interpreting the news in the only way their brains can make sense of it – with confusion and fear.
It can be particularly difficult for parents of young children to navigate how to approach these difficult topics. Parents themselves are confused and afraid, maybe worrying about an aging parent, or whether they will suffer a financial hit from the daily closures. They have to cancel fun travel plans and aren’t quite sure how to talk about all of this with their kids.
So, here are my tips for talking about the Coronavirus with kids:
- Know the Facts: There is a LOT of fear-based, mis-information spreading around out there. Seek out reputable news sources and get your information right from the source. Go right to the World Health Organization, Health Canada, or your provincial Health Organization to learn the facts about symptoms, prevention measures, closures, and other updates. Avoid news programs and social media posts aimed at spreading fear-based information to gain ratings.
- Minimize Fear-Based Media in your Home: Yes, we want to stay up-to-date on the quickly changing outbreak and local closures. However, we also need to be mindful that fear-based programming can be very scary for children. Instead of having the news channel on in the living room all day, try looking for updates online, or when your children are in the next room. That way you can learn the information and then share it with your children in a way that makes sense to them and helps to mitigate their fear.
- Start the Conversation: When kids are scared and confused, many of them will ask questions, and many of them won’t. When kids aren’t asking questions, it is not because they don’t care or aren’t worried, but more likely because they are TOO worried to ask. And instead, they are likely filling in the blanks on their own – imagining up answers to their questions rather than asking them. Kids who are more prone to anxiety and worry are likely to ‘fill in the blanks’ with their imagined worst case scenario. I see this everyday in the kids I work with. They are imagining their entire families dying, rather than asking and getting the facts about risks and safety precautions. Don’t wait for your child to ask questions, instead, start the conversation and give them the facts in a child-friendly way.
- Talk about Feelings: Share your own feelings with your children and ask them about theirs. It is okay if you are feelings scared, worried, or confused. Chances are your child is feeling the same way. Children often feel very alone with their feelings and have a hard time expressing them with words. Tell your child that it is okay to feel scared, confused, or any other feeling they have. Share your feelings as well to let them know that they are not alone.
- Offer Realistic Reassurance: Let your children know what you are doing and can do to protect them, the family, and the community. Tell them about the real safety precautions that are taking place and why they are important. Try not to make promises you might not be able to keep – we can’t promise that no one they know will get sick, but we can promise to do what we can to keep everyone in the family healthy by following advice from the World Health Organization and Health Canada.
It is always challenging to navigate difficult conversations with children. Be prepared for them to ask a lot of questions once you start talking about it, and to ask the same questions many times. Do your best to give them truthful answers and to provide realistic reassurance. Talk about feelings and let them know that all of their feelings are okay.
Wishing you and your family good health!
Until next time,
Meg
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