Every year I hear the same panicked moment from parents. Their children were misbehaving and in a final, frustrated attempt to get them to listen, they suddenly heard these words leaving their mouths: “No Trick or Treating for you this year!” A day or two later, they realize that they don’t really want their children to miss out on trick or treating – they just want them to listen! If this sounds like you – you are not alone!
And then, the tough question gets asked: “Do we follow through and actually let them miss out so they know we are serious, or do we let them go and risk them never taking us seriously again?!” Don’t worry, there is a third option! I like to recommend that parents talk to their children about ‘earning back’ a privilege that was taken away. This way, we are not giving in, and they do not have to miss out on something big, so everyone can win.
How can they earn a privilege back?
- Reiterate in a calm moment that their behaviour was not okay and that you meant what you said about losing the privilege of trick or treating.
- Offer them options for how they can earn the privilege back. Extra chores, making an apology card, walking the dog, etc. Have them help you create the plan.
- Make sure the tasks are achievable for them to complete well and on time for Halloween.
- Try to avoid making threats you don’t want to follow through on in the future by coming up with logical consequence and problem solving solutions together. (counselling can help with this step!)
Happy Halloween!
Meghan Pistchik MSW, RSW
Director of Attached Kids, Child and Family Counsellor
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